Shep The Talking Dog

Shep The Talking Dog

Monday, January 18, 2016

Dogs and Islam

Dogs and Islam


    Thanks to pandering Justin Trudeau, there are 10,000 potential dog-haters moving to the GTA, and if his minister of immigration and citizenship has his way, double that number by the end of the year!  This is a warning to both dogs and the humans in their packs.
    At a recent staff meeting, Colette (The Editor’s wife) recounted a tail where about 10 years ago she tried to hail a cab with her Chocolate Lab "Sage". (The people who do talk to me always tell me their dog stories for some reason.) She was rejected by 3or4 Muslim cab drivers before one took pity on her.  The cabbie explained Islam considered dogs "unclean".  He claimed he would have to thoroughly clean the back seat after her fare and do a "cleaning ritual" of his body for being in contact with her and her dog.  She was in the cab from High Park to Greektown, and was lectured the whole way.  At the end of the trip she tried to hand him money, but was told to lay it down so as not to risk him inadvertently touching a hand that was licked by a dog.
   Many Muslims consider dogs to be “Najis” or unclean. Traditionally, dogs have been seen as impure, and the Islamic legal tradition has developed several injunctions that warn Muslims against most contact with dogs, which explains why every time I tried to talk to one they would run away screaming. One little butthole even threw his sandal at me after just saying “good morning”. Needless to say I fetched it and tried to bring it back to him and ended up chasing him for five blocks till he ran into a mosque and slammed the door in my face. I chewed the sandal up of course, but my heart wasn’t in it.
   In an article written by Dr. Ayoub M. Banderker (BVMCh), he speaks to the phenomenon whereby misinformed Muslims took their dogs (and/or cats) to the animal hospitals or mobile clinics during Ramadan, to have them put to death by lethal injection. The reason given by the majority of these Muslims was that Islam forbids them to keep a dog!!!
   This actually is a misguided belief, although the Prophet Muhammad had no love for the four legs, there is an account of him talking to a camel… (Right, like who ever heard of a talking camel.)
    There’s also the story of Muhammed, while traveling with his army to Mecca in 630 CE, posting sentries to ensure that a female dog and her newborn puppies would not be disturbed. But of course that’s just common sense to avoid a bitch and her pups, any dog knows that.
   Point is, although Muhammed officially did not condone killing dogs and even said it’s forbidden to beat animals unnecessarily (like when is it necessary to beat animals?), or to brand them on the face (Now that’s just weird), or to allow them to fight each other for human entertainment. Fact is he was a two legged species snob.
   Here’s something else Muslims won’t tell you about their dear profit Muhammed, He was a collaborator! That’s right. The guy owned a CAT named Muezza. Everybody knows that evil cats are not team players and try to control the humans they sponge off.
It’s said that Muhammad awoke one day to the sounds of the Muslim daily call to prayer. Preparing to attend, he began to dress himself; however, he soon discovered his cat Muezza sleeping on the sleeve of his prayer robe. Rather than wake her, he used a pair of scissors to cut the sleeve off, leaving the cat undisturbed. When he returned from prayers he then stroked his beloved cat three times. Yet to touch a dog before prayers brings a Muslim into a state of ritual impurity. Ritual purification is then required before religious duties such as regular prayers are performed. So cat stink is no problem but a dog sniffs your butt on the way to the mosque and it’s hit the showers for you. The same goes for your unclean humans.
Frankly I’m offended at being treated like a skunk on the say so of some long dead cat lover!
   The point is, like terrorism, Muslims will tell you the hatred of dogs is not part of Islam which is a religion of peace and respect, yet most of them approve of it or would not do anything to speak out against the practice.
   There’s a clash of cultures between the western way of thinking and the way of the middle east. The way they look at Dog and the way you see Dog are two different philosophies. We are seeing that clash in the western European countries and it’s coming here fast folks.

Shep, The Talking Dog

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Transition This




Transition This

   I got loose a couple of weeks ago…..err went on an unscheduled walk I should say and decided to head for a quiet little spot I know. Nice big wall to mark my territory on and a nice grassy strip should I decide to go for the full experience.
   To my shock and horror I discovered a roving band of (or one really, really big) tagger had tagged this beautiful wall and painted it in circus tent style colours. This little strip of lawn and wall along side of the TTC bus barns on Coxwell Ave. just below Danforth had been turned into an eye sore of monumental proportions. As I lifted my leg to this sea of turquoise and blue I realized the paint was still wet and got some on my foot. (There’s an art to peeing while standing on three legs and if you don’t think so just try it sometime.)
   Who would do such a thing? Then I noticed the word sort of half painted “Transitions” That explained a lot, Transition is a lefty key word like “sustainability” or “safe space” or “LGBTQ Community”. Did a wondering troupe of artistic transvestites do this to my beautiful wall??? What would be the use of peeing on this wall now? Instead of smelling my magnificent sent high up on this wall all you could smell now would be some transitional transvestite paint job?
   What was the real message behind this act of state sponsored vandalism? Make no mistake; this was a message in six foot high letters to this quiet neighborhood of single family homes, children and dogs. There’s a transition coming. On a wall within direct sight of three schools and surrounded by family homes somebody was letting these people know that even more changes were coming.
   In the last 20 years within two blocks of this wall there has been a large block of social housing built less than two blocks away and a large apartment building for the disabled build right next to this wall and the TTC had sold off part of the bus barn property which was developed as cheap row houses that were quickly sold off to new immigrants. How much more “Transition” was this east end neighborhood in for? Well for one, an art project that will make the local residents feel like they have to walk through the carnival to get to the subway station every morning. I’m not kidding here folks, while lifting my leg to this wall I half expected that Rosie the tattooed lady and the dog faced boy would jump out at me.
   As much as this is a really bad city sponsored art project it is also a warning to the people who live within sight of this ugly act of vandalism. That they are not yet finished socializing your neighborhood.
    The only thing I can do about it at this point is to alert my colleagues at the paper to dig into this story a little more and chase down some of the squirrels around here, You got way too many infesting this hood. Oh I also dropped a turd right under the “T” Thought that was pretty cool, please feel free to come by and sniff it.  

Shep The Talking Dog
Oct 2015









Why I get no Lefty Love From Warren Kinsella





Why I get no Lefty Love From Warren Kinsella


   Warren Kinsella and I go back a long way, when paper training as a pup I dropped my first turd on an article he wrote in the National Post.

    My next encounter with Kinsella came one day while I was innocently chewing on my friends bowling shoe, next thing I know I was attacked out of nowhere by a rolled up copy of the Walrus magazine featuring you guessed it, Warren Kinsella. It was at that point I started wondering why the politically left in Toronto are such angry people and why do they think so highly of a hack like Warren?

    The left in Toronto is more of an obedience cult than a political ideology. If you step out of the box and disagree with one of the Grand Poobahs of left liberalism like Judy Rebick, Sid Ryan or Warren Kinsella you are immediately shunned. On social media you will be referred to as natzi, racist, bigot, misogynist and God forbid a right wing conservative. At this point your chances of ever again humping the leg of some cute hippie girl totally disappear.

    But why does this Borg like obedience cult love Warren Kinsella so much? Maybe it was his praise for the CBC when they banned the Dire Straits song “Money For Nothing” for having the word “Faggot” in it? Warren said he was “delighted” at this, and he should know he was in a lame punk band for years. Or maybe they love him for his hatred of Rob Ford, He did after all publicly imply Ford was a murderer?

     Personally I think they love him because he such an under-Dog. Let’s face it, politically speaking Warren Kinsella is one of the biggest losers ever and totally toxic if you’re running for office. Kinsella ran as a Liberal candidate in the 1997 federal election in the riding of North Vancouver but was trounced by Reformer incumbent Ted White. In the 2000 elections he went on Canada AM with a purple Barney Doll and mocked Stockwell Day's religious beliefs. After the 2000 elections he supported Jean Chrétien to remain as leader of the Liberal party, the Kinsella Curse struck again and Paul Martin became the new leader. The next loser to be “helped” by Warren was Michael Ignatieff, Remember him? He lasted about 30 seconds on the Canadian political stage. It was around that time that Warren had to apologize for a post in his video blog mentioning that his regular Chinese food restaurant sold "cat meat” AS IF, I’d pay extra for that!

    But the political curse of Warren Kinsella steamed on. In May 2006, Warren set up a firm called the Daisy Consulting Group, So he could make a few bucks for killing peoples political careers.

   Recently while chewing on a rolled up copy of the Globe & Mail (some kid on a bike throws one at my neighbor’s front porch every day) I noticed a story about millions of dollars in taxpayer-funded contracts awarded to friends and allies of political operatives in Ontario. Between 2004-05 and 2008-09, contracts adding up to $383,249 were paid to SEAK Communications – a company registered to Suzanne Amos, who was then the wife of Warren Kinsella. In 2009-10, around the time his marriage to Ms. Amos ended, payments that cumulatively totaled $262,355 started being made to West Bay Communications – a company registered to Mr. Kinsella, but not the one through which he usually does business. Guess he didn’t feel he had to share that cash with his partners at Daisy.
    
   When his pal Dalton McGuinty had to flee the wrath of Ontario voters Kinsella supported Sandra Pupatello in the 2013 Liberal Party of Ontario leadership convention. Again the loser and we got saddled with Kathleen Wynne.

   Municipally, Kinsella advised John Tory in the 2003 Toronto mayoral election, He lost. In the 2014 election he dumped Tory and “assisted” Olivia Chow's campaign right into a spectacular loss. (Chow’s are such a nasty little breed anyway) Kinsella had tweeted a spoof on Tory referring to his smart track plan as “Segregationist Track” Kinsella apologized for the incident. Daisy Consulting later announced that they had fired Chow as a client due to remarks regarding Kinsella. Too late the Kinsella Curse stuck to Chow like poo on a shoe.

   Still I’m feeling no lefty love from Warren myself, blogger “Eye On A Crazy Planet” believes the only way to get Warren’s attention is to write about him, So for him and all you dog lovers out there I pen this, and just in case this don’t get his attention, I’m going over to his place latter this afternoon and I’m going to leave a big steamer on his front lawn. It works on all my friends when I want to get their attention.



Shep The Talking Dog
June 2015